How to Introduce Yourself to a New Roommate Over Text

You got matched with a roommate you’ve never met. Housing sent you their number. Now you’re staring at an empty message thread wondering if “hey” is too casual and “hello, roommate!” is deeply cringe. Both are, honestly.

To introduce yourself to a new roommate over text, keep the first message short, friendly, and useful. Say who you are, confirm you’re the roommate, drop one small thing about yourself, and ask one logistics question that gives them a reason to reply. Don’t send a five-paragraph life story. Don’t send “yo.” Somewhere in the middle is where you want to be.

What should the first text actually say?

Something like this works every time:

“Hey! I’m Cuervo — think we’re gonna be roommates at [place] this fall. Just wanted to say hi before move-in. I’m coming in from Austin, studying CS. What day are you planning to move in?”

Four things happen in that message. You said your name. You confirmed the connection. You gave them one detail so they’re not talking to a blank profile. You asked something that moves the logistics forward. That’s the whole formula.

If it’s a friend-of-a-friend or already-matched situation, you can skip the “think we’re gonna be roommates” line. But the rest still works.

What questions should you ask first?

Don’t front-load the heavy stuff. First text isn’t the moment for “so how do you feel about overnight guests.” Save that for a week in. Early messages should be practical:

• Move-in date
• Who’s bringing the big furniture (couch, TV, microwave)
• Room preference if there’s a choice
• Whether you’re splitting a grocery run for basics on day one

Once you’ve traded a few messages and the vibe is warm, you can ease into the important-but-not-heavy stuff: sleep schedule, cleanliness style, work-from-home habits. See questions to ask a potential roommate before moving in for the full list you actually want to cover before day one.

What should you not send?

A wall of text. A full bio. Every hobby you have. A screenshot of your Spotify Wrapped. Photos of your room from your last apartment. A list of house rules before you’ve said hi. All of that reads as intense on message one.

Also skip anything that sounds like an interview — “what are your cleanliness standards” as an opener is weird even if it’s a fair question. Save it for later, when you both have a read on each other.

And don’t ghost after they reply. If they wrote back with something friendly, match their energy. Silence for a week after they answered your question makes move-in twice as awkward.

How do you keep the conversation going without forcing it?

You don’t need to text every day. A few messages a week in the run-up to move-in is plenty. Share logistics as they come up — “just booked my U-Haul for Saturday,” “grabbed a shower curtain, do you have one?” Practical stuff builds a working relationship faster than small talk does.

If you want to start on a good foot for the harder conversations later — money, chores, guests — a low-drama first month makes those talks easier. See how to text your roommate about a problem and how to have the money talk with roommates for when it’s time to level up.

What homies does about this

homies. is where new roommates set up the boring-but-critical stuff on day one — who pays what, how chores rotate, what the shared expenses look like — without a group chat that turns into a maze. Everything lives in one place, so the first month isn’t a scramble to figure out who owes whom for the toilet paper.

rooming, minus the drama. Join the waitlist at joinhomies.app.